


hush little lamb

by orsumfenix



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Demon Deals, Gen, Implied Body Horror, Rachel Being Awful, Weird, implied gore, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-08 14:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11083605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orsumfenix/pseuds/orsumfenix
Summary: Rachel Duncan desperately tries to get out of a promise she made as a child.





	hush little lamb

**Author's Note:**

> seeing as we've just started a whole season of rachel being awful here's a fic of rachel being awful to celebrate  
> warning: takes place in a rlly vague fantasy world that isn't fleshed out At All. actually this entire thing is super vague and odd......r.i.p  
> obviously rachel's opinions aren't my opinions lmao

The Swan lives in her eye.

It's made a nice little home for itself there, amongst the cornea and the retina and the macula. It never speaks, which somehow manages to grate on her nerves even more than its very presence.

The Swan never gives her advice, or prophecies, or warnings. It just sort of _sits_ there, feathers tickling her nerves. The only thing it  _does_  occasionally do is show her an abstract image and expect her to figure out some sort of deeper meaning. 

She never does.

It's trying now. When Rachel covers her eye - the empty eye, that is - The Swan is hovering in the air, rotating slowly. Then it falls, watching her all the while.

"Is that supposed to scare me," she says to the empty room, voice as dead as she can manage. The Swan doesn't answer. Well. It's not like she expected anything else. 

(She used to try for hours to coax it into speaking. She tried bribery and threats and holding a silence of her own. Nothing worked. The Swan remained mute.)

Instead of embarrassing herself in front of an empty room by conversing with the demon that's stuck in her eye, Rachel decides to do more research. She's already scoured through every book and journal she could get her hands on to try and find something,  _anything_ , that might give a hint towards a loophole. She's tried hunting down others who've made deals, but they were quite possibly the most unhelpful people she's met in her entire life. The Swan had listened as she interrogated them, shifting as though shaking with laughter. 

In the end it's come down to this: simply re-going over everything she's read, hoping desperately that there's something she missed. 

There isn't.

\--

At least, Rachel muses, she managed to keep control of her deal.

Cosima didn't. Thirsting for knowledge she'd invited her demon inside her body, allowing it to map every inch and tell her what was inside. It started in her ovaries and spread to her lungs, and it hadn't taken long for them to realise that it was damaging the organs it'd had explored. It's still damaging her now. It'll keep damaging her until she dies and gets wrenched down to Hell.

"Was it worth it?" Rachel asks, sipping her tea and steadfastly ignoring the glares Delphine is sending her from across the room. "Learning  _all_ about yourself, knowing that each thing you learn about is being damaged beyond repair?"

Cosima shrugs and grins. She's trying to look brave, as though Rachel didn't see her coughing up blood just ten minutes ago.

"Maybe? I mean, some of the stuff I've learnt is  _mind-blowing,_ dude, I wish the whole world knew. I could publish  _volumes_ of science papers."

"I don't want to know about  _papers_ ," Rachel says, voice icy. "I want to know if you think it was worth it."

"Why are you here, Rachel?" Delphine cuts in. She's leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded. Rachel can't help but smirk at how very hard she's trying to be intimidating, and how very hard she's failing. "What is all this about?"

She tamps down on the instinctive  _mind your own business_ , instead forcing an unpleasant smile. 

"Doctor Cormier. Perhaps you could tell us your opinion on the matter."

"What matter?" Delphine asks sharply, jaw clenched. It'd be adorable if the woman herself wasn't just  _annoying_.

Rachel gestures towards Cosima.

"On your girlfriend's condition, and if the knowledge she's gained is worth every inch of suffering she's had to endure." She makes sure to inject as much distaste as she can into 'girlfriend', just in case they've forgotten that love is a weakness they share. One that Rachel doesn't. She tilts her head, lips turning up. "As I understand it, that's quite a lot. Damaged ovaries, lungs, now seizures - I wonder if the things she learns the most about are the things that receive the most injury?"

Delphine's hand slams down on the counter behind her. 

"Woah, hey, Rachel." Cosima's tone is light but her eyes are dark as she raises her hands. "No need to go all gadfly on us. We get the picture, okay?"

Rachel takes another sip of her tea, smirking behind the cup. Over the rim her eyes seek out Delphine, looking angry enough to start smashing plates. Some part of her hopes she does.

"You need to leave," Delphine bites out, voice delightfully choked-up. "Now."

Rachel lowers her cup. 

"I haven't finished my tea," she informs, looking down at the drinking itself and swirling the contents. Delphine's sharp bark of laughter cuts through the room.

"I don't care. Get out."

She lifts her head to look at Cosima, trying to convey 'your girlfriend is an overly-emotional imbecile and I hope you're ready to be the better half'. 

Cosima either doesn't get the message or thinks love (her big, gaping weakness) overrules it, shrugging loosely. 

"Sorry, dude. I'm sure leaving it behind'll break your heart. Or at least defrost it a little."

"Would you look at that," Rachel says mildly, placing her tea back on its mug and wishing the  _clink_ was a lot louder. "The scientist thinks she's a comedian." She stands, eyes roaming Cosima's (sick, frail, dying body). "Well. At least your demon's laughing."

Somehow, she makes it out of the fairytale lover's cottage without being shouted at. It's almost a disappointment. 

\--

She ends up going to see Alison, even though Alison hates her and the feeling is mutual. Not that that isn't the situation with Cosima and Delphine - or that matter, almost everyone Rachel knows - but with Alison Rachel doesn't even risk drinking the tea. She wouldn't be surprised to find it poisoned.

She'd never confess not actually knowing what Alison's demon is, where it lives. Oh, of course she  _has_ one. Her children are evidence enough of that. She was so desperate for them that she made dolls and asked a demon to bring them to life. Oscar and Gemma. Something about them is  _too_ perfect, too much like the nuclear family children that's plagued their culture for centuries. 

As expected, Alison is frosty and cold and manages to be slightly more intimidating than Delphine, though it's still pathetic enough to just be an embarrassment. Rachel leaves feeling as though she's the only person who's made a deal that's actually  _worth_ anything, and wonders just how often The Swan is glad it has her as a host. 

 --

The breakthrough comes when she starts to investigate those who've already gone to Hell. 

She looks at her files on Beth Childs, who chose to go early, and wants to drag the woman all the way back up just so she can send her back for  _giving in_ , for being  _weak_. She looks at the files on Jennifer Fitzsimmons, whose demon lived in her lungs until it tore them apart. Janika Zingler, Aryanna Giordano, Danielle Fournier: the names blur together but she remembers them, remembers how they shared a demon between them and thought that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't dare to take three.

Katja Obinger. She was researching how to escape, too. It's not like it's a surprise; almost everyone looks for a way out, especially towards the end. 

And then Rachel realises that Katja had a book. At first it doesn't seem significant, and then she thinks about how Katja gave the book to Beth, who was  _also_ looking for a way to escape her deal. Then Katja died and Beth locked it away in her vault, guarded by traps and puzzles and heavy iron doors.

When Ferdinand recounted the whole story it just seemed stupid. But now she looks into it carefully, pulling in favours and sending bribes to try and figure out just where, exactly, this vault is.

The Swan digs in, which is how she knows she's really on the right track. 

When she finally gets the location, she's so happy that she almost says 'bingo'.

Instead she just smirks. 

\--

It's Sarah who opens the door. She slams it immediately.

Rachel blinks, unsurprised but still insulted, raising her hand to knock again. Sarah re-opens it before she can, leaving her hand hovering awkwardly in midair.

Rachel clears her throat and drops it, lifting her head just especially to look down her nose.

"Sarah," she greets.

"The fuck do _you_  want?"

"Your help," she informs coolly. Sarah slams the door again.

\--

She ends up inside, of course. 

Kira is sent upstairs, but Sarah has a whole motley crew of ragamuffins behind her. Siobhan Sadler doesn't trust her and makes well and sure she knows. Felix Dawkins is equally as disdainful. Helena is...the only person so far who's actually  _managed_ to be intimidating, which Rachel decides to keep to herself.

"So, let me get this straight." Sarah's hair is a mess. It needs brushing. She lifts one hand to brush it behind her ear, the other folding across her chest. "You want us to help you break into Beth's secret vault 'cause there's a  _book_ in there?"

"Yes. Will you do it?"

"Get lost."

"Sarah," Rachel starts, standing from her seat at the table. Her hands smooth her skirts, quelling the nervousness lurking in the pit of her stomach. It wouldn't do to be getting wound up over _Sarah Manning_ of all people. "We can help each other. There is information in that book that could assist the both of us."

"Yeah, I doubt that." The smirk fades from Sarah's face as quickly as it arrives, her eyes roaming over Rachel's face. "Your time's almost up, isn't it? That's what this is about. You made a deal and now it's coming back to bite you in the ass." 

Instead of answering Rachel moves her gaze to the silent spectators in the room, trying to make them uncomfortable. It only seems to work on Felix.

"And what about you?" she asks them, hands clasping in front of her. "Are the rest of you similarly adverse to the concept of gaining and sharing vital information?"

"Yes," Helena says.

"If Sarah's right," Sadler begins, eyes lingering on the others for an unreadable second, "and your time's almost up, why would we help you? You'll be gone from our lives soon enough."

"And good riddance," Felix adds, as though by asking for his opinion Rachel was actually  _asking for his opinion_.

"Rest assured, I could still find ways to... _impact_ you from beyond the grave. But, something tells me you're looking for something more comforting than that." She lifts her head, smirking under their collective attention. "I believe the book contains information that would instruct a person on how to avoid going to Hell as a result of a deal. Having this knowledge would benefit the both of us, don't you agree, Sarah?"

She locks gazes with Sarah herself, who she knows the clock is ticking for as well.

"How do you think your daughter would feel about this?" she asks carefully, seeing the vulnerability in Sarah's eyes and liking it. "Don't you think she'd want her mother to stay with her for as long as possible?"

"Leave her outta this," Sarah commands, but the seed has been planted. "And, look, just - stay there. Helena, keep an eye on her."

They mutter among themselves for several long, boring minutes. Helena watches her like a bloodhound, like the guard-dog Rachel knows she really is. She wonders if Helena knows how badly she's being used, and how easy it'd be to convince her to be used by someone else, instead.

"Alright," Sarah says, turning back to face her with as unreadable a face as she can probably manage. "Fine, Rachel. It's a deal. Tell us where the vault is and we'll get your damn book, alright?"

"No. I'm going with you."

Sarah shakes her head.

"If we do this, we're doing it our way. You stay here, where we can keep an eye on you."

"Perhaps you don't understand the situation," Rachel presses. "Only I know where the vault is. I will lead you there, and you and me will enter alone and retrieve the book. I won't sit at the sidelines and wait for you to betray me."

"Funny. We feel the same way about you."

She breathes out slowly, forcing a sharp smile.

"I won't change my mind, Sarah. We must co-operate and you must make this compromise, or soon Kira will be a very lonely little girl."

Here is Sarah's weak point: she would do anything for her daughter.

\--

It's Sarah and Helena who go with her to the vault, tucked away in the corner of a closed shopping centre. Getting in only took a small bribe to the head of security. Really, no wonder the world's going downhill when people go against the entire purpose of their jobs for her loose change. 

The vault door says UNDER RENOVATIONS, but Rachel knows better. 

"Helena," Sarah says. "Stay and guard the entrance, yeah?" 

Helena shifts, eyeing Rachel with a weird mix of innocent curiosity and murderous intentions.

"I do not trust Rachel," she says. "She lies."

Rachel makes sure to send her a look that conveys how much she doesn't care what Helena thinks.

"I know, okay? We  _all_ know." Sarah scowls at Rachel, like it's her fault Helena decided to state the obvious. "But if this book really is what she says it is, then we need it."

"Well said," Rachel comments. Sarah snorts.

"Piss off, Rachel."

\--

The first booby trap they encounter is at the end of the corridor the door opened onto. 

Sarah saves Rachel's life, unfortunately. The floor opens up to a bubbling pit of lava and Rachel, several steps ahead, almost falls until Sarah yanks her back by the  _hair_.

The breath escapes harshly from her nostrils.

"Did you have to be so  _violent?_ " she says, turning to face Sarah. Sarah's brow raises as she folds her arms.

"Try showing some bloody gratitude, yeah? If it weren't for me you'd be in that lava."

Rachel bites back the response that she  _knows_ that, that this is why she picked Sarah in the first place. Because Sarah herself is expendable, but she'd save Rachel every time if it let her get just a little bit closer to being there for her daughter.

Of course, now that they're inside the vault Sarah could probably just knock her out and take the book for herself. But she's hoping it won't come to that.

She doesn't bother replying. She just smirks and moves to walk around the outside of the pit, Sarah following suit.

At the next trap Sarah ends up dangling upside-down from a piece of rope and Rachel is left with the overwhelming desire to just  _leave her there_. Instead she settles for spending five minutes gloating and watching Sarah become increasingly more annoyed and desperate to be let down before giving in and assisting her.

It's after the fifth trap that The Swan starts to dig it's beak in. It was probably hoping that she'd die and go to Hell early, but the more and more traps she gets through the more it digs in.

So. It's worried, then.

Is Sarah having similar problems? She wouldn't be surprised.

Then again, maybe Sarah's demon knows what Rachel is planning to do.

\--

By the time they find the book, they're both tired, amazed to be alive, and facing that gnawing irritation that shows up whenever they have to speak to each other. 

"Holy shit," Sarah breathes. "Is that it?"

It is. The book is placed in the middle of the cavern they've found themselves in, and Rachel almost doesn't trust that there's no visible traps around it.

It's Sarah that goes and slides it off it's podium, flicking through with a hungry expression.

"It's in German," she says, snorting. "Don't know why I expected any different."

"It shouldn't be hard to translate," Rachel informs, moving to stand by Sarah and peer down at the book. "At least, not for those of us that had educational childhoods."

"Watch it," Sarah snaps, but something about it is softer than usual. Ah. Of course, she's happy that she might not have to go to Hell, after all.

Leaving is easier than entering was, partly because they know what all the traps are and partly because half of them don't even bother to activate. It only takes half the time to reach the corridor leading to the way out, where the door leading to outside and freedom is within their sight.

"We did it," Sarah says, sounding numb. The book is gripped tightly in her hands. Rachel smiles. Might as well let her have this moment.

"Yes," she agrees. "We did."

Then she lifts the syringe and stabs Sarah in the neck.

There's a wonderful, delightful moment when Sarah twists and their eyes meet, Sarah's wide and shocked and Rachel's full of smug satisfaction.

"You  _bitch_ ," Sarah manages to choke out, already falling. Her eyes drift shut before Rachel can reply, which is disappointing, but she leans down slowly and snatches the book from Sarah's hands with pleasure all the same.

"Are you surprised?" she asks, raising a brow. She tells herself it's for The Swan, just to feel a bit less pathetic about talking to an unconscious person.

Rachel leaves Sarah there, walking down the corridor alone. When she opens the door Helena's prone form is splayed out, dart stuck in her arm. So. Ferdinand's done his part, then. 

All she asked him to do was send a sniper to hit Helena with a knock-out dart that would keep her unconscious for at least twelve hours. Her own role was to retrieve the book with Sarah, then 'unexpectedly' betray her and steal it. 

She steps over Helena, almost laughing at how stupidly easy the whole thing was.

\--

Katja Obinger found out how to avoid going to Hell. Either she couldn't bring herself to do it or her time ran out before she could; whatever happened, she wrote down everything she discovered in a book that made its way to Elizabeth Childs, and from there into her vault.

Translating the book is simple. Rachel's been fluent in German for years and passable for longer, and it doesn't even take half a day to have the whole thing written in her own English handwriting.

The only way to avoid going to Hell is to send someone else in your place. In Rachel's case, this would mean swapping the eye that The Swan lives in with a person of her choosing. It would only take a simple spell and a drop of that person's blood.

Ferdinand gets a tube of Sarah's blood to her within an hour of her call. 

\--

The spell isn't even hard. It only requires some muttered Latin, evaporating the blood in a goblet, and allowing the magic to flow through her until it finds the demon inside.

The hardest part is The Swan. The pain in her eye is unbearable at parts, prompting her to stop and press a spiteful hand to it. The only thing that keeps her pushing on is knowing that soon it'll be gone, and it's promise of Hell alongside with it. That, and the gleeful realisation that  _this is all it can do_ , that all the power it has is contained in her eye and even that won't last for long.

Before she knows it, the spell is done. The pressure and feathers are gone, in their place a new eye. Sarah's eye, uninfected and untainted. 

Rachel smirks. 

"Arrivederci, Sarah."

\--

Rachel waits for the calendar to pass by the date of her trip to Hell, and breathes a sigh of relief when she's not dragged screaming and kicking to the inferno.

Sarah will be gone, she notes as she pours the steaming cup of water into the mug. Poor little Kira is probably beside herself. Surely the child wouldn't be opposed to a new woman taking her in, starting as an aunt until she slowly but steadily slips into the role of 'mother'?

Once the tea is ready Rachel sips at it, thinking of how to go about the plan forming in her mind. 

\--

She wakes up to a knife poking at the edge of her  _(Sarah's)_ eye, catching on the moonlight. A breeze enters the window to ruffle the curtains. 

"If I cut Sarah's eye from your face," Helena muses, breath tickling Rachel's cheek. She's on top of her, trapping her. Rachel can feel her boots digging in to her legs, and absentmindedly wonders just how dirty she's making the white sheets. "Will that bring her back?"

"Helena," Rachel says, mind spinning with thoughts of  _I should have had her killed_ and  _she was always the most dangerous_ and  _I should have taken her eye instead._ "Helena, I need you to listen to me."

"I do not listen to cowards."

The knife trails down her cheek. It's too light to draw blood, but it wouldn't take much for Helena to press down. 

"You're special," Rachel says. The lie sticks in her throat but she swallows, forcing it through. "Listen to me. We can work together, as a team -"

Helena smirks down, managing to convey wholly and completely that she knows there's nothing for them to work together on.

Rachel says: "We can get Sarah  _back._ " Rachel says: "I can't do it without you, and you can't do it without me." Rachel says: "Sarah needs us both."

(Rachel says, Rachel says, Rachel says.)

Helena hums, raising the knife back to the corner of Rachel's eye. Of Sarah's eye. Rachel has a brief moment of wondering how Helena even knows that she swapped their eyes, that The Swan infected Sarah instead. That that's the reason Sarah got dragged to Hell.

Then again, they're twins. They have a connection. Of course Helena would recognise her sister's eye. 

"Helena," Rachel says again, monotony dropped. Desperation colours her words. "Tell me what you want."

"You make Sarah go away," Helena says, smiling and adjusting herself. The knife digs in. "Now I make _you_ go away."

**Author's Note:**

> yh i kinda snuck a homestuck reference in there  
> what was rachel's deal? for power?? the unintentional death of her parents??? who can say for sure  
> thx for reading, and any feedback would be much appreciated :)


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